ForeWord Magazine
CLARION Book Review
SELF-HELP
Order in the House
Stacey Nelson
Trafford Publishing
147 pages
Softcover $14.95
978-1-4251-4555-2
Four Stars (out of Five)
You fell in love. You got married. Now
what? If you’re a Christian, then God
might be waiting for what He wants for
your marriage—for you to establish His
order in your house.
In this thoughtful, compassionate
volume, Nelson encourages readers to
ask themselves searching questions
like “What is the purpose of marriage?”
and “How can I do things God’s way
and not my way?” Basic questions, yes,
but ones that are good to ponder in
depth or to revisit. Hint: the answers
have something to do with a covenant
and a relationship that involves three,
not two.
As a timely reminder to the “instant
gratification” generation, Nelson says
God doesn’t move very often to benefit
the present time. Sacrifice may be
required. It’s easy to sit back in a
marriage and coast, but Nelson reminds
readers that in order to see the power
of God manifesting in your life, you
have to be an active participant. “You
must defend your territory and keep the
enemy out. Christ works with you. He’s
not going to do all the work for you…”
Popular culture is filled with references
to surrendering, yielding, and
submitting to the will of another, and yet
most human beings resist this idea—
sometimes mightily. Modern women
particularly dislike the idea of
submission to a man. But Biblical
submission, claims this fiery little book,
is actually a position of power. As the
author joyously proclaims, she is
“dropping bombs into the kingdom of
darkness by teaching women of God
what it really means to submit.” When
wives submit to their husbands they are
not losing a power struggle but gaining
an opportunity for both people in the
relationship to demonstrate
unconditional love. Well, all three in the
relationship, actually.
“Do not be concerned about what
others think of you submitting,” she
writes. “That mind-set will get you in
trouble every time and you’ll find
yourself backing up from the things of
God to please man. Set your heart on
all God has shown you in regards to
your purpose in marriage because He
did not put you together just for the
benefit of yourselves…”
Of course, husbands have their
responsibilities also, and one of them is
leading the team toward the goal that
the family—and God—wants to reach.
Particularly helpful are the mistakes
Nelson identifies as doors that can
become problems in marriage and allow
the Enemy to enter, such as withholding
affection from each other as a form of
punishment, selfish ambition, fits of
rage, not keeping fighting within the
context of the marriage, and not
understanding that different genders
and personalities express love
differently.
At the end of each chapter there is a
list of Daily Reminders to think about
and a page for Notes. Filled with Biblical
quotes and personal examples, this
book will help readers to choose life, by
bringing and keeping the life of God in
their marriages.
Stacy Nelson is a wife and mother of
three. She credits the Family Worship
Center Church in Flint, Michigan, with
having completely changed her life.
She has been walking with the Lord for
twelve years.
Holly Williams