Men, go to God first and receive direction.
Find out what the will of God is for your
home. Do not judge, criticize, manipulate,
control, abuse (mentally, emotionally,
physically or verbally) or force your wife to
follow your lead. This type of behavior
does not come from God. You’re on your
own if you are operating in this manner.
Love your wife in spite of her faults with
the same undeserved love Christ has for
you. You are called to be her friend.
Gently take her by the hand and lead by
example. Then and only then, will you
get her heart’s attention and cause her to
desire to change and follow your lead. It’s
a miraculous phenomenon and it truly
works! As you change and become all
that God has called you to be, she’ll
change. Not until then and not by any
other means. If you step outside of God
by trying to do things your own way, you’ll
simply find yourself swimming in a rip
current going against the flow. Eventually
you’ll become tired and completely
fatigued causing yourself to drown. Now
those who swim in the ocean particularly
professional surfers know that if they find
themselves caught in a rip current, they
must swim with the current parallel to the
shore line. Quickly, they’ll be out of it and
into calm waters. There’s no fighting, no
mental or physical exhaustion and no loss
of power because the water does all the
work. Men of God, allow the living water,
the Holy Spirit, to hold you by the hand
and do a work on the inside of you. Then
proceed in His power to lead your
household to its destiny.
The woman you have chosen to be
your wife is a precious gem. Her
differences attracted you like a magnetic
force. The part of her character which is
totally opposite from you drew you to her.
Isn’t that amazing, the part of her you
desperately want to change is what drew
you to her in the beginning? The only
difference now is the honeymoon phase
has ended, the rose-colored glasses have
been removed and you’re seeing her for
who she really is right now. That which
was once so attractive is now causing you
a tremendous amount of pain. God does
not intend for her to remain in her original
state. That was only to attract you so He
can begin to prepare the two of you for
purpose. Just like you have to be
transformed by the press, she too must
be transformed by the fire.
It is not in your nature for you to
submit in the way God wants you to. It
takes the help of the Holy Spirit to
empower you to submit with biblical
submission. Don’t fool yourselves into
believing that you can accomplish this on
your own. You can’t even begin to submit
without God putting the desire in you.
When you try to enter into submission
without it being connected to the power
source (God), you enter into dead works.
Since there’s no power coming from on
high, you’ll find yourself trying to please
your husband and everything in you will
be weakened by your attempt. It will be
such a struggle just to do the simple
things; and instead of you becoming a
woman of honor in your home, you’ll
become one who is often seen as being a
doormat. It’s because you’ve disregarded
the most important part of the equation-
God, and are trying to submit in your own
strength. It will never happen. God never
intended for you to be able to operate in
this area without Him. You need divine
help to submit with biblical submission.
Even when you determine within yourself
to do things God’s way, everything in your
flesh will oppose it. That’s because
submission gets you ready for God’s
purpose. At first you may literally suffer
from physical symptoms. You may
experience headaches just thinking about
it and your stomach may get upset as you
step out in faith to attempt it. Don’t back
up. Follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. He’ll
give you divine power causing every act
prompted by your faith to get easier.
Submitting should keep you on your
face before God because there’s nothing
in man that would cause you to desire to
submit on your own. You must close your
eyes and see what God sees. See your
husband loving you. See him providing
for you. See him leading your family into
your destiny. The only way you’ll be able
to see all of this is by staying connected
to the Father. Be in communion and
fellowship with Christ because He is your
great advocate. As Pastor Stokes so
eloquently says it, “He works with you to
obtain, maintain, and gain victory in your
marriage.” Your helper, the Holy Spirit,
will give you vision of your destiny. He will
reveal God’s plans for you. He will make
known the purpose for which God created
you and chart out a course for your life.
Embrace the vision. Embrace your
purpose. Hold on to it. No matter what
rises up to oppose it, never let it go.
I find it amazing how God has
changed my heart for purpose. I’ve gone
from being the “boss” to being my
husband’s servant. I don’t mean servant
as if I’m unaware of my husband’s
business. What I’m saying is, I’ve learned
to be Jawun’s friend and because of that, I
serve his purpose. Christ has given me
vision and clarity into my purpose. He has
shown me that Jawun has been chosen to
lead me into my destiny and because of
that, I serve my husband’s purpose. I
recognize that Jawun is my prize, and I
can’t get to where God wants me to go
without him. Revelation has come that
our purpose in marriage is the same. I’ve
come to understand we have been united
for God’s purpose so I don’t haphazardly
live when it comes to my marriage. I bring
the life of God to my marriage. My
submission is to Jawun, but then again it’s
not. It’s only as I submit to God that I am
able to submit to Jawun.